Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas..... lacking in a season of plenty

I will be brief...
Something just dawned on me
(no pun intended after the last post and my morning before the LORD).
Do any of you find the Christmas holidays somehow leaving a hollow place inside?
I just talked to my youngest daughter, about these feelings, and something occurred to me.
Christmas as the "religious" world has known it surrounds the birth, the first coming, of our LORD into our time and space... into flesh...
What would the financial world do without our "religious" holiday?
Maybe this feeling of emptiness after such glut comes from the fact that
right now...
as no other time in history,
we are closer to our Jesus' second coming to this earth....
Maybe it's not so much about the virgin Mary,
but about a purified BRIDE..
Maybe it's not so much about the state of the world,
but about the state of the Spirit, and the spiritual reality.
Maybe.... just maybe.... our dissatisfaction is being felt by more than just those in my family here in our little central Texas community.
Understand.... I am not coming down on this holiday... I have loved the spirit of Christmas for years... the traditions, the colors, the family.....
BUT....
something is growing in me more and more through the years...
and it
plays out in a hollow empty feeling.
I think maybe I've put some boundaries around the feeling,
and I think as I do, I can more easily see the "why"...
and be excited once again because of what
I believe and know.
Does anybody else feel it?

Malachi 3... well, really all of it!

I think I will be camping out in Malachi this coming year
and Hebrews is still repeating it's words for my heart's message....


Today, as I awakened, the morning sun was barely peeking over the rim of the hills...


the clouds were wisps across the heavens and appeared to me as WINGS emanating from the source of the sun's light... Without the light beginning to appear, I'd have never seen the clouds and the shape of the wings on the Heavens!


THEN.... the LORD spoke to my heart... "today I'm speaking something into your heart that you thought you knew, but you only knew in part.... HEAR me!"


OKAY FATHER... give me ears!




What if....


What if we use an overlay when viewing this chapter?


The last words of the Old Testament before the LORD is "silent" until John the Baptist.


What if the overlay is a couple of facts.


1) God cares about people not things or "stuff", or even the earthly treasures we hold dear.


God is about PEOPLE!


2) The sacrifice God desires is that of a contrite heart and a broken spirit. (said over and over


through a variety of scriptural passages.


3) "Robbing" God is not about money.... it is about what HE considers "treasure".


4) Question: What is the "storehouse"? What is "food" for "My house"?


(I think I find the answer to these as I read this passage with the above overlays.)




Why is it that in my immaturity that I always understood this (from pastors and teachers too) as bringing my MONETARY gifts... and sometimes as giving my TIME (a gift).... but not really about me being the "treasured possession" (Mal 3:17) of which I have "robbed" the Lord?




Vs 2:17 YOU (me) have wearied the LORD....


Yes, I do think this is true... forgive me Father for my lack of understanding of


Your heart that NEVER changes!




3:1 "I will send My messenger... suddenly the LORD you are seeking will come to


"HIS TEMPLE"'...


and what does scripture say is HIS "temple"?




3:3 "He will set as a refiner and purifier of silver... he will purify the Levites...


THEN the LORD will have men who will bring offering in righteousness..."


so as I am refined and purified... maybe that is my maturing... as in James 1... the "testing" (refining/purifying) of your faith develops perseverance (maturity)... my understanding goes beyond the flesh into the spiritual messages from the LORD


that my flesh cannot receive.




3:6 "I, the LORD do not change"


Oh thank YOU LORD... this is such a solace for my heart! in a world where everything is shifting and where right and wrong are merely situational ethics.... YOU NEVER CHANGE!




3:7 "Return to ME and I will return to you" says the LORD Almighty!!!!


so do you think that when something is stolen, it uses the same turn for rectification... "return it to it's rightful owner"?


What has been stolen? Of what was God "robbed"?




the people ask "how do we rob You?"




3:8 "in tithes and offerings"...


(here is where I believe God is showing me a deeper truth... one that, to some, still where I was, could seem rationalization for not bringing money or time into the "church" or congregation)




3:10 "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in MY HOUSE. Test Me in this, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit. Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a DELIGHTFUL LAND," says the LORD Almighty!!!"


What if...


the "House" is the body of Christ, the Bride?


What if...


the "food" we bring is the gifts that we have been given when in conjunction with the whole body operates in perfect unity and completeness? A banquet of just green beans is so much less than that of a feast of turkey/dressing/cranberry relish/potatoes/gravy/jello salad/fresh fruit/ along with the green beans and even dessert. It is an entire and complete meal enjoyed by the entire table/family!


What if...


the "pests" are disease and hindrances that prevent the yield (our crops) from being all it can be... maybe even our health for producing all our gifts allow for the Kingdom?


What if...


all the nations will call us blessed because we are complete... whole... the way things should be as the Creator designed it...




Isaiah 2:2-5


..."and all the nations will stream to it (the mountain of the LORDS TEMPLE!!).


Many peoples will come and say,


"come let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, tho the HOUSE of the GOD of Jacob.


He will teach us HIS ways, so that we may walk in His paths."




3:17 "THEY WILL BE MINE"... says the LORD Almighty... "in the day when I make up MY TREASURED POSSESSION"


are these not terms about ownership... what again is restored to the owner... what had been "robbed"... returned?




and finally.....


3:18 "And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not."




This morning began with wings around a sunrise.... and ended like this.....


Malachi 4:2


"But for you who revere MY name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall"




I praise the LORD for any word that HE wants to deposit in me... I thank HIM for truth beyond my simple heart and the fact that HE says HE wants me to know... I praise Him for the fact that HE NEVER CHANGES... but the fact that He is willing to change me.... from glory to glory... and from simple to less simple.... LORD keep me mindful of my flesh and how easily I get distracted from YOUR desires for me.... Help me LORD be what You've made me to be.... YOURS!



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Boundaries...Ports.... redefinition... Prophecy

Boundaries..... the good and the bad.....the justice and the mercy of those things we so often kick and scream against.....but truly, most are the mercy of God upon those HE loves.
This past Monday my oldest granddaughter had her first experience with UIL competition. She'd been entered in 2 different events...one was poetry reading the other was spelling.
She'd prepared so very much so that her presentation would be all it could be and perhaps place her in the final rounds of the competition.
They'd gotten up early and loaded onto the bus......she was the first name called to get aboard.
Excitement was the order of the day, but that was soon overcome by disillusionment. (I will say, that this experience was as much a teaching for her mom and the adults present as for her... the adults were the ones who make the difference at this age! there lies the responsibility!) KG had done everything that was required from her place.
Married to an athletic husband I often have these examples set before me, and one strikes me explicitly for this situation....
Troy played D1 baseball in his college years, and so I will use that as my visual although any sport could fit...
Imagine a coach explaining the game to a group of highly talented and motivated young men who had never played the game. They know how to run, hit and catch the ball... they've practiced long hours to play the game, and they know that to win, they must hit the ball, run and make it home to score... imagine that they get out there on the field against a team that is feeling the same as they... both want to win... but there is one difference. The other team knows that there are rules to the game... there are bases and baselines to run within... and they must play together to finish the game.
The coach forgot to tell his team... you must touch each of the 3 bases as you run towards home plate.. THAT IS HOW YOU SCORE!
This was sort of the situation with my KG... she knew she had to read her poems with clarity, personality and expression... she even had them memorized... BUT NO ONE TOLD HER THAT SHE WOULD BE TIMED! that the judges would hold up signs for her timing... she had no idea what they were doing... and besides that... she had 2 poems ready when the rest only had 1.
THEN.... the spelling came... the list she'd been given was the wrong list... these were NOT the words that were in her level of the competition...
She'd thought she was perfectly prepared, but she wasn't.... and the experience was not what it could have (SHOULD have been)!!! The adults responsible for her "playing the game" had left her stranded and unprepared! She didn't know the rules
She didn't know the boundaries...
A loving teacher would have had her completely ready for what would come...
A teacher who understood "the game" would have had her students tested and ready for whatever would be coming their way...
Believe me.... KG mother understood immediately what this situation was and what it should have been.... It will NOT be repeated! This mother took care of the situation as effectively as a surgeon with a sharp scalpel handled precisely and with healing.
KG will compete again, but I guarantee she will go in prepared fully for the situations that will be presented.
Right now, I believe we are being prepared for the places we are being taken by THE LORD WHO loves us incredibly!
HE will NOT allow us to stumble in the "games"... the "arenas" in which we are being called!
"My people die from lack of knowledge"
I understand that to mean that He wants us to have the knowledge... there is just something/someone who is preventing us from having the full knowledge we need for these places to which we are called. We do have an enemy... but the best news is this... we also have a Warrior LORD WHO fights for us... "greater is HE that is in us than he that is of the world"!
I have listed a few references that have come across my heart these last few weeks... they may take a while to read... but I promise... you will find them worth the time it takes to read... may we all know that the LORD WHO told NOAH and prepared him for the times... will as surely tell us...
His mercy is the source of our boundaries
His grace allows us to know the prophecy that is for us.
Thank YOU FATHER for loving me enough to tell me! amen
Sam's Nov newsletter... AMAZING PROPHECY and understanding for right now! MUST READ!
Chuck Pierce Nov 30 and Dec. 5th continued
(flames and New Boundaries)
(new trade routes... supply routes... ports will reopen and open)
(my friend from California and the mercy of God's boundaries in her morning measure of manna Bible study with Moses)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Cycles of Change, Choice we make

I know that for many, this is a frightening time... and I suppose it is a justifiable response on many levels...
BUT....
I wonder why "frightening" is not exactly the feeling I am having right now???
I woke up this morning with a very old song in my head... one we sang at church camps around the fires... it was a round, and I can still see the youth director's silhouette walking around the fire and directing each of the 3 sections to begin...
"Jesus, I adore YOU
and I lay my life before YOU
How I love you!"
and it progressed through "Spirit I adore you," , "Savior, I adore You!", then back to "JESUS"
I think that little song is the reason for what I will call the "hope that is in me".
I think there will be opportunity in this time... no, not financial or economic exploitation, (although that has been tauted repetitively on all the news channels of late... are they merely trying to stoke the falling markets??? really inconsequential to me right now)
but opportunity for Kingdom business...
Below is a short article from 2007 concerning the cycles a government will go through...
I found it most interesting... as will you I feel certain...
WHERE WOULD WE BE RIGHT NOW?
_"About the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution in 1787, at the beginnings of this great country, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, pondered the fall of the Athenian Republic around 2000 years earlier. From his research, he speculated that:
"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a
permanent form of government."
"A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury."
"From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."
"The Average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years."
"During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:
1. From bondage to spiritual faith.
2. From spiritual faith to great courage.
3. From courage to liberty.
4. From liberty to abundance.
5. From abundance to complacency.
6. From complacency to apathy.
7. From apathy to dependence.
8. From dependence back to bondage.
Today, university research, Hamlin University School of Law, St. Paul, Minn. indicates that 40 percent of the nation's population have reached the "governmental dependency" phase.
Thus, are we, as a nation, somewhere between the complacency to apathy phase?
For our nation, apparently from "bondage to faith" took place with the Pilgrim's escaping from the Church of England and landing in Plymouth in 1620 and during that century.
"From courage to liberty" occurred during the Revolutionary War and late 1700s.
However, it took most of the next century to achieve "from liberty to abundance."
This was a century of a great Civil War to define state and civil rights.
After this great conflict, our nation grew westward. We expanded our power and influence around the globe. Finally, we helped to win World War I.
The economy expanded until the disastrous "Great Depression."
Nevertheless, our country recovered.In fact, a complete recovery came with the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. This brought us together as never before.
Men entered the armed forces, women entered factories. Our patriotic nation fought aggressors, became victorious and became a world power.After World War II came a time of national abundance.
From old downtown shopping, new suburban shopping centers unfolded.
Builders became rampant with new housing tracts. Our economy expanded vibrantly.
Thus, occurred the hundred years "from liberty to abundance.
"Unfortunately, during the years of the Vietnam War to the end of the century, we witnessed a time which might be identified as "from abundance to complacency.
"Now, every day, either your local nightly TV news or the New York Times describe how bad things are, but with no positive balance.
"Just not much we can do," according to that commentator or that news reader.
After 231 years of history, are we now in the time, "from complacency to apathy?"
Is it just a matter of a few short years until we continue "from apathy to dependence,"
and a few more "from dependence back to bondage.
"With only a few months left before the primaries, every voter should ponder this historical possibility.
*this article was written in Dec. of 2007.... interesting huh??? in light of right now, Oct. 2008*
below is this military man's admonition from almost a year ago!
Be very careful for whom you vote.
Burton F. Anderson, a U.S. Marine veteran of the Korean War, has lived in California for about 50 years. He has a background in aerospace industry
Finally, another thing that tweaked the edge of my waking hours...
Moses... (my Shiloh friend is currently preparing manna on this subject for her guests :)
Remember when the Hebrew people built the golden calf?
Moses was on the mountain receiving the mandates for their new life in a promised land.
They were in unfamiliar territory with a leader who was (temporarily) out of sight.
They decided that the bondage they were under in Egypt was much better than the promises that they'd seen (with their physical eyes).
They decided that it was much easier to have someone else make all the decisions for them than to chance the real deal.
They decided that the lie of what was familiar, was better than the TRUTH of what was unfamiliar.
I think we all live in a reality of our own choice......whether it is the Truth or not, really doesn't matter to us... we each choose what we believe to be "truth".... (am I speaking relativism?)
BUT!
There is a TRUTH that is non-negotiable, and it really makes no difference as to our belief in it or not. It is because IT IS! (sound familiar? can't you just see Charlton Heston bent before the burning bush?) "I AM that I AM!!!!"
GOD IS GOD
there is NO compromise,
There is a timeline set by His own hand, and it will be accomplished according to His design.
Does that mean you and I are His puppets?
Certainly not! We are His sons!
and there are promises available and given to those of us who love Him.
I believe the scriptures tell me that the points on the line can be moved for a bit more time (but for his "mercy" it would have all been finished), but those points come in successive rhythm, and there is an end.
I believe there are signs available to eyes that see... just like Simeon and Anna who waited by the temple... they knew who the Christ was as Mary and Joseph brought him to the temple.
They knew because they understood the signs.
sooooo
Today, I am thinking to myself... "Carla, what an awesome time to be alive. Could we truly be the generation that will see the Lord come again? Will you be attentive and will you hear? Redemption is a beautiful thing!"
Thank You Father for Your never changing existence.... Thank You for Truth that is beyond our choice... Thank You Lord for this time, this season, and this place... and Jesus, Father... give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and senses available to every nuance of YOUR Presence.
I think I'm ready for today!!!! I feel a Hosanna inside!!!!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

*a personal musing on* Communication and Miscommunication... Love

Don't know if this will make sense to anyone but me, but since there are only a few who read this blog... here goes...
Do you ever find yourself speaking a "language" that is truly not your own?
No, I'm not talking about "speaking in tongues" although I suppose that could be one such way of doing this... I am speaking of something far less noble.
For example...
I am not a sarcastic person, and yet there are people/friends/family members in my life who regularly engage in this form of "humor" (questionable to me!!)
When I am with them, it seems that I start speaking their language... sarcasm comes from out my mouth and escapes despite my attempts at its restraint. (I am not really good at it)
I really don't like sarcasm, but something in me says... that's the way they do it, so you should do it like that when you talk to them.
I have people in my life who are great "pretenders"... like I love to pretend with KG that she's Lucy and we can walk right into Narnia... or that the little boys can be High King Peter and Caspian wielding swords and dispatching the enemy righteously and swiftly... but that is good pretending... there is another kind that is important in maintaining the "status quo"...
because if you don't... who knows what might happen....
the "truth" might be more than the system can bear.
It's like... When you are in Mexico, your price is in pesos, or in Europe, in Euros etc... you can't buy things unless it is converted to the "coin" of the country in which you are doing business. Somehow, I think in my mind, there are those people which whom I communicate who must be responded to in the coin that they give... even if it is an unfamiliar mode of payment for me. Since it is not my normal mode... I could "pay" too much or too little.... depending on the place it is presented. Am I making any sense here to anyone besides me?
It would seem that this happens most when we are confronted with people who really don't know us, or can't see us... people who already have us in a box that fits neatly into their circumstance, and if we begin to speak another language,
(or do something out of their image for us)
it is disconcerting and messes up the status quo.
I think this happens more than we know... I think this happened even in Jesus' day
(and I/you AM NOT JESUS)
so why shouldn't I be exposed to the same pressure of trying to fit a round peg
into a square hole? The scriptures say...
"a prophet is not known in his home town" (or something to that effect).
People couldn't see Jesus for who he truly was because they'd watched him grow up... they knew His family... they might have even been His own brothers and sisters who needed Him to stay just the older brother who slept in the same house, ate the same food, shared the same memories (to a point)... but then.... as He became something outside of them, they no longer could "see" Him...(I wonder, did they WANT to SEE Him?)
He spoke a language they didn't recognize...
He wasn't Who they thought He was.... sooooooo
it was easier to reject him and, at one point, assume and tell others He must be a little daft.
He spoke another "language"....
and they choose not to listen because it was unfamiliar and different.
In our own biology... the cells of our body are great at outcasting the germs that try to invade the cell... if they don't have the correct password, or if they speak the "unfamiliar"... the cell quickly disposes of them and voila... we don't get the bad cold, or the flu, or the infection... whatever. This is a good thing right????
Our immune system, when functioning properly is terrific at search and destroy the unfamiliar.
I wonder... do we do that to people?
Is that always a good thing? When is it bad?
I am called to be in the world even though I am not of it.... Jesus came to dwell in flesh just so that He could identify with His own creation.... He chose to speak our language so that He could teach us His.... LOVE

I find the pie-chart above very interesting..... I wonder if it is true for the majority of people? Maybe that is why "body language" specialists are so good at reading the politicians on the

Fox News channel.

And yet.... for me... words seem to be a much bigger part of my "pie"!

Why is it that most people I know can just let words roll away, and for me, they are boulders that crush my heart... or just as readily... they are eagle's wings that take me high and away?

Words carry great weight with me.... they are not casual.

Gary Smalley has a book "Love Languages" in which are described 5 ways of communicating love. His premise is that we all speak one of these languages primarily and the others in greater or lesser degree. I KNOW my primary language is "words". Do you know yours?

Today... as I listen (well... right now, I am choosing to NO LONGER LISTEN, to the news) about economics, politics, the state of the world... the words I hear are just too much to bear. I feel like the battering that has been taking place on both sides of the fence has left me (and others) victimized by their blatant disregard... people's lack of vision (ability to really see).... and people's manipulation of ANYTHING to get to the top of the

"Caterpillar pillar"!

(a great old book if you've never read it).

Today... I feel totally undefended, I feel totally vulnerable, and completely exposed.... and I think I may be feeling some things that are just reflections of those around me

(I will tend to do that on occasion).....

If you asked me what do I want, or what do I expect... I think I'd say to you...

By the ones to whom I give permission (that means I trust them)....I want to be seen...... I want to be known..... I want to be loved and received for who I've been created to be, not what the world or any other created being wants me to be.

Sometime I think the Thumper Rule is just pretty good for me...

"if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

But then there is the dilemma.... what do we do with all those words left unspoken???

Lord give me eyes to see and ears to hear, and let me know how to speak the language You give me into the ears that are willing to hear, and let mine hear first. Let me love as You love not as the world does. Let me not give in the same tarnished coin that I might get... let me give from the abundance of a son, not hoarding as is the case of an orphan. Lord forgive us here in the US... as we are in such a privileged nation and yet we bicker, bite and complain about our lack, when I know, we truly have no idea of our providence. Forgive ME Father... for my silly concerns in light of the true plans You have for this explosive time in history. Teach me the universal language that Your Word says is You... Love... and let me rest in this vulnerable state knowing that it is You Who covers me with the wings of a protective parent. Hear my heart Lord, and help me be what You want me to be in this crazy time of our history on this earth. You are good Father, and I know You see me. Thank YOU from the depths of me.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Rosh Hashana 2008... am I listening? are we, as a nation, "listening"? Now what? Day of Atonement

**normally, these words are mostly my own... today, as the High Holy Days of Jewish holiday begin at dusk, I must defer to 2 articles written this week for the aish.com site.... these are only snipets of the articles, but they speak to my heart.... Oh LORD, Jesus, please give what I can handle of Your sight. Please show me what I can bear and let me act on what You allow. Bless those who read and share my heart, who share in Your Body, and who are connected inextricably to me by YOU. You alone are GOD!**
"If only we could have had a window into the future we would have been spared the incredible turnabouts of the stock market. Even the most wizened professionals say they have never seen anything like it. In January of this year Barron's magazine advised its readers to concentrate purchases from its list of most secure and risk-free companies. At the very top of their suggestions for best performers for the coming year were Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and AIG. But of course neither Barron's nor Fortune nor Forbes had any idea that these pillars of capitalism, these bastions of financial strength, would soon collapse into bankruptcy or federal takeover. So today many of last year's billionaires have to sadly confront the fact that they are now only millionaires -- and the rest of us have to deal with the reality of rapidly sinking retirement funds, plunging real estate values and panicking margin calls."...
"Let's take a cue from a remarkable observation by James Dale Davidson and Sir William Rees-Mogg, financial advisers and authors of Blood in the Streets, who were intrigued by an aspect of timing apparent in economic cycles:
"Even more mysterious is the strange tendency for major crashes to occur in the autumn, especially in October. For example, September 18, 1873; October 29, 1929; October 6, 1932; October 18, 1937; October 19, 1987; and October 13, 1989. Each of these dramatic results, among the largest drops ever recorded, occurred in the fall. The old view would be to argue that this is only coincidence, which of course is possible. Most likely some factor we do not now understand increases the vulnerability to selloffs in the fall."
To which of course we might add the events of this September which are so reminiscent of another doomsday scenario.
Dare I perhaps suggest that this mysterious phenomenon is due in no small measure to the fact that this time period invariably coincides with the days when mankind is weighed on the scale of Heavenly Judgment? It is not coincidence that rules our fate but divine fiat, the result of a process finalized not "in the fall" but more accurately in the awesome days leading up to Rosh Hashana and the Day of Atonement."...
"Without these corrections we would never be forced to recognize the realities of our lives. Greed would transform us from servants of God to slaves of our possessions. We would perhaps never re-orient ourselves to the proper balance between the spiritual and the material in the conduct of our lives."
*then from a second AISH article about what a man learned from and
old friend dealing with Alzheimer's *
"The rabbis say that a person can be recognized by his "wallet, anger, and alcoholic beverage." These are the times the individual's true priorities are apparent. What does he spend his money on? What makes him angry? How does he behave when under the influence of alcohol? Stripped to the core, it's the practical actions that define the person.
Alzheimer's also robs the intellect, leaving the base soul intact. I learned from Sholom that our true identity is only what we have truly incorporated into ourselves.
Soon it will be Rosh Hashana. God peers into our heart, and assesses our inner drives and motives. Are we where we want to be? Are we really even what we think we are? Are we attempting to bridge the gap, to reconcile our ambitions and reality?
As we stand stripped of our exterior veneer before our omniscient God, the question of who are you really is answered in the Heavenly court. Let's hope we will not be embarrassed. It's still not too late to consider the question and work on making necessary changes. "
" finally let us find comfort in knowing that God will surely heap His abundant blessings upon us if we only learn to use them with dignity, with morality and with spiritual sensitivity.
Published: Sunday, September 21, 2008" http://www.aish.com/

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Unattended Bride and Esperanza

I saw 2 physical vision ;O) sights yesterday that struck me.... the first was that of a bride...
I'd driven into Buffalo Gap earlier that day and had seen the preparations for a big wedding.
The cars of the people making ready for the ceremony were in various places around the church buildings. There were the groomsmen sans the black tux jackets out talking on cell phones or gathering in groups to talk about the events to come.
There were people scurrying from the fellowship hall after bringing in the large wedding cake.
All of them, getting ready for an apparently large wedding.
**fast forward 4 hours**
Later that evening, my girls had asked me to go to dinner with them, and since I was recuperating from a bout with the flu bug, I took my own car.
I again came upon the place of the wedding,
this time, it was finished, and there were a minimal number of cars left from the event.
No groomsmen were present, and no people were anywhere to be seen....
then,
I saw a sight that completely struck me...
How unusual...
walking across the green lawn, under the shade trees of the dusky evening was the bride.
She was alone...
her train was carried across her arm, and the veil that had covered her face was still attached to her lovely blond hair.
All I saw was her back as she walked slowly away from the church.
She was UNATTENDED!
there was absolutely NO ONE in sight, and the wedding was finished.
I saw all this in a brief instant as I drove by, but the vision was HUGE in my thoughts...
something is not right with this picture..
The BRIDE was UNATTENDED.... perfectly lovely, yet perfectly ALONE.
The next thing that happened was only minutes from that scene.
I had purchased the most amazing gerber daisies earlier in the day, and I'd decided in the 10 minutes before I was to meet my family, I was going to get my daughters each a tray of the gorgeous plants before they were all gone.
I ran into Lowes and purchased exactly that for which I'd come, and rushed out to get to the dinner spot.
Traffic was horrible trying to get out of the parking lot and onto the road, and in front of me was a truck loaded with about 3 oak trees, and 3 of one of my favorite Texas plants, Esperanzas. (great for xeric landscaping and absolutely stunning in plant design)
The guy knew he had to get out pretty quick onto the road, so he made the exit smoothly in front of the oncoming traffic. The lane into which he was going was clear, so he did great,
EXCEPT... one of the yellow blossomed plants rolled from his truck onto the road!
THIS would be a real loss for the guy... I saw him slow, but he couldn't stop.
I assume he was going to turn around as he could to return for his Esperanza.
(this time putting the tailgate up to protect his purchases)

Someone else had seen the plant leave his truck. A lady was coming a little behind him, and pulled into the entrance drive beside the dropped plant.

I saw her and thought...

Wow, I love Texans... I even rolled down my window so that when I got to pull out of my parking lot, I could tell her

"thanks for picking that up, and keeping it in tact, for the guy to come back to get it."

As I pulled out I saw the lady indeed go over to retrieve the plant,

but,

she didn't put it onto the curb for it's owners return...

she picked it up and as I passed, I caught her eye...

she was putting it into her own car... and her look to me said...

"he didn't take care of it, his loss is my gain!"

She knew I'd seen her... there was NO REGRET!

I was sad...

I rolled up my car window and drove a little stunned to the place were I was to meet my family.

I asked the LORD...

"what does this mean Father? What do these two seemingly unrelated events mean?"

I am still asking this this morning, Sunday... and I think I have some answers.

I will write more a bit later as I continue thinking....

(but I will say this... "esperanza" is the Spanish word for "HOPE")

Today, there are systems that are shaking in our government to the point of crumbling~

Today, congress is supposed to announce some sort of "package" that will prevent our financial system from collapsing into depression.

Today, there will be more of Obama/McCain rhetoric about "he said, he said~" and no one knowing what is true and what is smoke and mirror.

Today... Troy is in Houston going to a Hispanic church with folks that we housed during Rita a year or so ago... then meeting with a friend whose father has been diagnosed with aggressive cancer already in the lymph nodes.

This week... Monday at dusk begin the High Holy Days of RaShoshana and Yom Kippur... cleansing, repenting, putting into order and beginning anew...

(significant I think... even our Lord Jesus probably understood and celebrated these days in accordance to Jewish tradition as He walked on this earth robed in flesh)

Today... I sit here thinking.... "what next LORD?" what next?!

Hebrews 12 says.... everything that can be shaken will be shaken....

BUT.... I inherit a kingdom that cannot be shaken~

Almost a year ago right now... we, in my family began a prayer... "LORD, expose all that is hidden... and as it is exposed, show us how to deal with what we find"... (that is whether it is good or bad or whether we understand or not).... EXPOSE THE HIDDEN... bring it to LIGHT~

God answers prayers! Lord let us SEE!!!! FATHER LET ME SEE! and then let me know Your heart about what I see.


Monday, September 22, 2008

question of WEALTH

2 questions vex my thoughts today as I sit here waiting for tomorrow :)
1)What is the difference in the terms...
transfer of wealth
and
redistribution of wealth?
2) What is wealth?
I've heard from many places in the secular and the non-secular world.... 2008 will see the "greatest transfer of wealth in the history of our nation"
It was recently, even on a television ad.
I hear these two political candidates and their parties rant about wealth and who "deserves" what part of that proverbial pie... socialism, democracy, the American dream... all are terms flying through the airwaves!
I heard the story of the college student who was so much on the side of the underprivileged saying "how can we let these people go without"... until her father asked her about giving one of her hard earned GPA points to her "less deserving" roommate.
I've heard people say... "I can afford that payment"... what about "affording the debt"... assuming the American dream SHOULD belong to everyone in America.
What exactly is "the American Dream"... and should or do all Americans expect or deserve it?
I know that for kingdom minded people the thinking is that God's people are about to be put in charge of mountains of finances so that the kingdom of God will be able to do it's work in a more proficient way. Hence... a great "transfer of wealth" into their "tested" handling.
I know there are and have been those of the "name it and claim it" theology that believe that simply because we are believers, "wealth" will just drop into our lives.
I'm thinking... why? for what purpose?
Somehow, I am having a bit of convoluted thinking right now with all the things going on in politics and in our financial state of bailing out Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and now Lehman Brothers... and who knows what/who else.
I am NOT a financial minded person, but all this sets me to wondering....
"what exactly is 'wealth'"?
and
what is the LORD up to with America?
Someone whose wisdom I respect once said.... you know, when you plant a seed in the ground, often what comes from that seed looks entirely different from that which you planted. Granted, at some future time, there may come something that looks the same, but there are seasons between that "sowing" time and that of "reaping" time.
And for that matter........"time" really doesn't even have definition in Heaven....does it?
I think that there may be that belief out there that says if I put $10 in, that the LORD will multiply that money and give me back $20... or something like that....... I may be strange in my thoughts, and way off base, but that just doesn't sound right to me........
God doesn't think like I, who dwell in skin, think.....His thoughts and ways are so far beyond my comprehension that multiplication in heavenly terms must be something much different from my simplistic way of thought.
so again I am seriously asking..... what is "wealth"?
and
is there a difference in its "transfer" or its "redistribution"?
as I think on this..... you who know me know that what my bottom line will be is....
so this is what is going on in our physical world....
what is it saying about Spiritual places/circumstances/seasons/ things????
What is my stand in this turbulent ocean?
I'll tell you one thing that I know that I know that I know....
I'm sure of the One Who has the answers.... and He loves me as His child.... so... I suppose I really have no reason to ask these questions other than
I'm a curious "child" of an indulgent Father!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

"You better RECOGNIZE!!!"

Tonight we gathered in a familiar way with (and without) familiar faces...

we met to pray

but we found more than that...

we met to say,

"I'm still here!"

for more than ourselves we need to hear this... we need to say this to all of you who might be sharing this word on this page.

We are here... we are part of you, and as we gather, we ask for you too!

there was silliness (see video below)... but there was sincere petition as well... join us and be one with us!

What do I want from my LORD?

*sometimes the things of this world are sweet, but when that

sweetness dissipates, we can be left wanting something else....

this night we gathered to ask as the people of Acts 4:23- did.

Their prayer was simply 2 things

1) LORD, take notice of us

2) Let us speak boldly

See where we are and enable us to do that which You have called us to do....

THIS was our prayer tonight.... 8/26/08.

Thank you Cody for being a catalyst on your birthday!

May I offer to those of you who "gather" with us from so many other places

some of our simple petitions from this night?

Lord...we want...

*to be a part of a people,a family, who see Your face

*our youngest ones to be known as YOURS and protected by Your hand wherever they go. Let us see the enemy's strategy and know he cannot touch what is held in Your hand.

*ears to hear and KNOW that it is Your voice...

*Your timing

*people to see Jesus in me... let us speak from Your heart.

*to be INTENTIONAL!

*to have the vision of what we are to be... to SEE!

*the KINGDOM and all that goes with that

*to be where I am meant to be and walk the steps I am meant to walk... every day!

*fruitful outcomes

*to know how to truly LIVE... "Live like you were dying" (good song sung often here!!)

*to recognize the role of father and step towards the ones entrusted.

*world Peace (the authority to come against the one who creates chaos... great def. of "Peace")

I pray a blessing on each one of you who entered the "circle" with us in body or in spirit, we are one as His people, and the unity of the body is becoming more and more apparent... I thank You Jesus for eyes to see and ears to hear....

as SJ has said (prophetically I believe)

You better recognize!!!!

Lord help us all to do just that!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

888

the Hebrew letter "chet", looks like a ladder huh? ....
also the letter corresponding to the number 8 in the Hebrew...
it is the letter representing "new beginnings"
What a season is upon us right now.....
I feel such a spiritual weightiness as I watch the Olympics
as I watched the army of drummers in perfect rhythm, in perfect sync,
in time with the same beat and orchestration
then... I watched Michael Phelps win his 8th gold breaking 7 records in the process
8
I am thinking on this number and its significance to this time in history
I am thinking on this season and the very different things that are coming about and new in our country America
I am thinking, and I am asking... "tell me more... fill me up with the things of Heaven so that I can see with eyes wide open the great and wonderful things that You will teach me to understand as I have need to know.... and I say thank YOU Father... it is only Your Truth I seek in a world of very realistic counterfeits! Only You have the truth.... and I love it!"
(the sites below are some things I am looking at... don't know if I'll "pull up this chair and sit in it as yet... we'll see as I look a bit more! I'm not much on hokey sort of stuff, but I love the nuances of language, and Hebrew is one that certainly intrigues this heart of mine~)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

"Step to the front of the line".... citizenship in the GREATEST KINGDOM OF THE WORLD!

I suppose it shouldn't be anything unusual to have someone here one day and gone the next. That is what we've come to expect on this fragile and often strange journey we call life. So this funeral of a lady we'd seen on a weekly basis shouldn't have been anything truly memorable to me, but it was. Miss Mawgaweet... as my little boys called her had been waiting on us for over 20 years at the same place, at the same table, at the same (or most often the same) time of the week. Tuesdays at 11:00AM in the casual lounge. A couple of months ago she told us she'd been diagnosed with lung cancer, and that she was headed straight to the hospital to get it "taken care of" but we were not to worry, she'd be back "shortly"... as spoken in her dignified English accent still strong after her 20 years here in the US as a citizen. But, she wasn't back "shortly"... and we felt a loss at her passing. I am not writing this post as a memorial, although that may be what it seems, I am really writing it to myself... to remember something VERY important to me.
That is that I am only passing through this time on earth, and that this is surely not my home.... and... while I am here, it is important that I SEE the people the LORD allows in my path.
I hadn't realized that this lady had survived the bombings of WWII on her home in England while she was only a 10 year old covering her ears; I didn't know that she loved baseball, or that she loved the beach but was NEVER in the ocean... I did know that she loved red nail polish, we saw her nails done regularly... I did know that lavender was one of her favorite scents because TR and SJ had given her that scent for a Valentine's surprise a couple of years ago. ... and I didn't know that she had no real pastor in her life so a special man who visited her in the nursing home took the time to know about her eternal home and the assurance of that to me and her family.
I am writing this because of a story that man told at this lady's funeral... and I don't want to forget it.
He told Miss Marguerite's family... "it isn't that you go to church or that you've done good things in you life that get you to heaven.... there's nothing like that you can do.... it is that you have a relationship with Jesus Christ." I absolutely concurred! then he told a story...
"we'd just headed home from a mission trip to Russia, and we had a stop over in the Netherlands. One of our group had lost her passport, so we were stalled at the US embassy of that country. The line was 3 block long, winding from side to side... folks waiting to get to the front desk and be on their way. I will never forget the uniformed American soldier who stepped outside and yelled across the crowd..... "anyone who is an American citizen, step to the front of the line".... I looked across the many people... none more or less deserving than my group, but we got to go to the head of the line and our passports allowed us entry into our final destination.... THAT my friends.... is what you have when you have a relationship with the Lord JESUS CHRIST! you have a passport and citizenship in the kingdom of God... your destination is secured."
I loved the analogy... I had to write it down for my memory and for any of you who might read this.....
I'm blessed....
I know where I am going.... and as a dear friend says.... "you are already a member of the family living in the family home, now it is just time to go upstairs"...... I like that!
May the Lord bless you and keep you, may HE make his FACE to SHINE upon you and give you (and me) PEACE! amen
one last time... my friend... and sister waited on me and served me well with the words at her departure.... thanks Missssss Mawgaweeeet.... you blessed us!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

"I'll leave the light on for you!"

"I'll keep the light on!"
I heard new meaning to that familiar saying yesterday as I listened and contemplated a speaker on my local Christian radio. It was a Mothers Day sermon played out of season... but just in season for me. I have always wanted to be a Proverbs 31 woman... who wouldn't want that, but to tell you the truth... I saw her as an idealized compilation and completely unattainable in all her amazing attributes and accomplishments... until.....
Proverbs 31:10
"10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. "
The speaker started to tell me about this lady... (something most who read this will probably have already known, but to me... I started to SEE her for the first time as real flesh and blood).
She was most likely not a young woman. She was a mother, a wife and a homemaker. She was intelligent and her priorities were her family and the ones whom the LORD had placed in her path or in her home. She cared about the health and well being of her people and although she may have taken note of her grooming and appearance, her beauty was understood as from the truth of who she was, not how she appeared.
These things I understood, and could see, but I never could imagine a woman who never slept (okay I know those who know me are laughing right now, but you know what I mean... working all hours of the night and day to get all the THINGS done that were required of a "good" wife/mother... that's what eluded me) until....... it was explained yesterday about the culture... a term which, even today, we use perhaps without knowledge of it's roots.
"and her lamp does not go out at night"
Wealthy people (and that is not just lots of money!!) of the middle eastern culture often took very personally their responsibility to that gift. (hemmmm interesting huh, no social security)
When there was extra in the household, visitors, wayfarers, or ones in need, would know that
if there was a light on in a window, this home welcomes the ability to be of service
to those in need.
It said... "don't worry, I'm here, I'll help... even if it is in the night!"
Does that strike you as it did me? RIGHT in the HEART of who we are to be in a dark world.
We, sons (daughters) of the Living GOD are RICH beyond the treasures of the world.
I know that the physical often precurses the spiritual, and I am thinking...
"I know my heart for my children, my husband, those whom my Jesus has allowed into my life... I know that I will always 'leave a light on' no matter the hour or day..."
I can and will do that.
AND NOW...
Isaiah 2
" 2 In the last days the mountain of the Lord's temple will be established as chief among the mountains; it will be raised above the hills, and all nations will stream to it. 3 Many peoples will come and say, "Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob. He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths." The law will go out from Zion, the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. 4 He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore. 5 Come, O house of Jacob, let us walk in the light of the Lord. "

Matthew 5:13-16
13 "You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. 14 You are the light of the world – like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. 15 Don't hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. 16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father
.
I must say that most of these words are scripture, but as such, mine make sense to me and offer clear direction to the course ahead. I'm thinking..... I can be some of those things in that amazing woman of Proverbs 31... she is not as unattainable as I'd previously assumed, AND... she absolutely complies with the scriptures that follow after. May I be a candle in the dark... may I be one who shines (my sweet little one's verse from Daniel), may I be one who leads others simply by being a son of God and being about my Father's business...
Light in the darkness!
"I'll leave the light on for YOU!"
God give me eyes to see and ears to hear... and let me be as You call me to be!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Word, dream, VBS

"Don't give them more than they can handle..... even if it appears TO YOU, that they need it!"
"You have been PLACED with the GRACE"
These were the two words I woke with this morning... one came with a dream, the other in a prayer for forgiveness..
*
*note: earlier this month I had another dream about "maturity" and being "ready"
there was also "water" involved... I am asking if there is a correlation for me?*
dream: group was in Europe on VERY hilly, windy roads
-I, and others of my group were on motorcycles and all the people on the road were
running from something bad.
-a slender girl with a baby bundled tightly came to me and asked for my cycle...
she didn't say much at all, merely pleaded from her eyes.
-I gave her the cycle and as I was about to tell her about the road ahead, she just zoomed off.
-I KNEW what was ahead, she was going way too fast AND she had a baby with her
-I heard the splash
-I RAN up the hill, around the curve and down the steep incline
-They had already gone under the water irretrievable to me.........
-if ONLY I'd been able to tell her, or better
... if I hadn't given her the cycle which she clearly could NOT handle!
she would have been safer walking or even running,
NOT on a powerful machine going way too fast for her abilities!
-I was responsible, at least in part, I KNEW!!!
then the word as I journaled this disturbing dream early this morning
(God didn't let Scarlett sleep in... she needed out in spite of my wanting to go back to sleep!!)
so I got up and wrote!
the word to me was a caution in these times....
"do not give out of time,
or more than can be handled
.... even if you assess the circumstances as needing what you have!!!
be on guard..
... walk in the cadence of MY steps,
not out of line or out of time!"
these are important words for me......I'm such a mom... such a "fix it" person... Lord I hear...
help me heed!
Then.... as I prayed about the circumstances of my very very busy daughters.... fun, crazy, busy summer things and then all the stuff that life just adds in.... this week, doggie school, Threshold, and then VBS till 8:30 (so much the overloaded schedule!!! that my eyes see and my heart feels).... I was fussing at my sweet LORD... (yes, I know, maybe no one fusses at the LORD, but me... but He listens, and then HE sometimes.... sometimes.... addresses my heart's cry)......this is one of those times......... and HE Said...
"I know the gift of MY daughters...
I KNOW what they can do because
I've given them the gifts....
I know what fills their days and their hearts,
AND
... I know what is coming next!!!! do you????"
"No Lord, only YOU are God... tell me how to be???"
"I give Grace for the Place.....they are in this place for more than they or you have imagined... it is not just for the small ones to whom they've been assigned... it is for the others who will be where they are too....
what they teach they've LEARNED;
it may come in 4 year old words, but will hit the mark at a
far more imperative target....
I WILL GIVE THE GRACE for this PLACE!!! be assured."
*I do feel like this word is for more than just this week*
"Oh my LORD, forgive my small vision!!! forgive my impulsive protective heart! let me see from Your places....even when it is those closest to my heart! You KNOW and I don't.... Lord let me see more...I will try to hold what You give with the most careful heart that YOU allow. I LOVE YOUR GENTLE CORRECTION to this mother's heart..... YOU KNOW ME!!! YOU SEE ME!!!! YOU LOVE ME!!!! and Jesus, I LOVE YOU!"

Friday, July 18, 2008

Tony Snow: "You have been CALLED"~"God likes to go off-road"~



TONY SNOW'S TESTIMONY
This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer.Commentator and broadaster Tony Snow

announced that he had colon cancer in 2005.

Following surgery and chemo-thrapy,Snow joined the Bush Administration in April, 2006,

as press secretary.

Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007,Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced that the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen, leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy.

Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 3,

but has resigned since, 'for economic reasons,'and to pursue 'other interests

.'It needs little intro . . . it speaks for itself.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


'Blessings arrive in unexpected packages,- in my case, cancer.Those of us with potentially fatal diseases- and there are millions in America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God's will.

Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence

'What It All Means,'

Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.

The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the 'why' questions:

Why me?

Why must people suffer?

Why can't someone else get sick?

We can't answer such things,and the questions themselve

soften are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.

I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care.

It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact.

Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths began to take shape.

Our maladies define a central feature of ourexistence:

We are fallen.

We are imperfect.

Our bodies give out.

But, despite this, - or because of it,

- God offers the possibility of salvation and grace.

We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end,

but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment

we meet our Creator face-to-face.

Second, we need to get past the anxiety.

The mere thought of dyingcan send adrenaline flooding through your system

A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you.

Your heart thumps; your head swims.

You think of nothingness and swoon.

You fear partings;

you worry about the impact on family and friends.

You fidget and get nowhere.

To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life

- and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth.

We accept this on faith,

but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many

non-believing hearts- an institution that the gift of life,

once given, cannot be taken away.

Those who have been stricken

enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, mind, and faith

to live fully, richly, exuberantly-

no matter how their days may be numbered.

Third, we can open our eyes and hearts.

God relishes surprise.

We want lives of simple, predictable ease,

- smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see,

- but God likes to go off-road.

He provokes us with twists and turns.

He places us in predicaments

that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension-

and yet don't.

By His love and grace, we persevere.

The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably

strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy

we would not experience otherwise.

'You Have Been Called'.

Picture yourself in a hospital bed.

The fog of anesthesia has begun to wear away.

A doctor stands at your feet,a loved one holds your hand at the side.

'It's cancer,' the healer announces.

The natural reaction is to turn to God

and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa.

'Dear God, make it all go away.

Make everything simpler.

'But another voice whispers:

'You have been called.'

Your quandary has drawn you closer to God,

closer to those you love,

closer to the issues that matter,

- and has dragged into insignificancethe banal concernsthat occupy our 'normal time.

'There's another kind of response,

although usually short-lived,

an inexplicable shudder of excitement

as if a clarifying moment of calamity

has swept away everything trivial and tiny,

and placed before us the challenge of important questions.

The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change.

You discover that Christianity

is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft.

Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution.

The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals,

triumphs, and epiphanies.

Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and comtemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes (Spain), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.

There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue,- for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give,

the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.

Finally, we can let love change everything.

When Jesus was faced with the prospect of cruicifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us.

He cried for Jerusalem before entering the Holy City.From the Cross,

he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness,

and begged for forgiveness on our behalf.

We get repeated chances

to learn that life is not about us,that we acquired purpose and satisfaction by

sharing in God's love for others.

Sickness gets us part way there.

It reminds us of our limitations and dependence.

But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy.

A minister friend of mine observes

that people suffering grave afflictions

often acquire the faith of two people,

while loved ones accept the burdenof two peoples' worries and fears.

'Learning How to Live'.

Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms,

not with resignation, but with peace and hope.

In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live.

They have emulated Christby transmitting the power and authority of live.

I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away.

He kept at his table a worn Bibleand a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer.

A shattering grief disabled his family,many of his old friends,

and at least one priest.

Here was an humble and very good guy,someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable.

He restrained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment.

'I'm going to try to beat [this cancer],

'he told me several months before he died.

'But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side.'

His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity- filled with life and love we cannot comprehend,

- and that one can, in the throes of sickness, point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.

Through such trials, God bids us to choose:

Do we believe, or do we not?

Will we be bold enough to love,daring enough to serve,

humble enough to submit,and strong enough

to acknowledge our limitations?

Can we surrender our concernin things that don't matter

so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?

When our faith flags, He throws reminders in our way.

Think of the prayer warriors in our midst.

They change things,and those of uswho have been on the receiving end

of their petitions and intercessions

know it.

It is hard to describe,but there are times

when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up,

and you feel a surge of the Spirit.

Somehow you just know:

Others have chosen,

when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up,

- to speak of us!

This is love of a very special order.

But so is the ability to sit backand appreciate the wonder of every created thing.

The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid,

every happiness more luminious and intense.

We may not know how our contest with sickness will end,

but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.

What is man that Thou are mindful of him?

We don't know much, but we know this:

No matter where we are,no matter what we do,

no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects,

each and every one of us who believe each and every day,

lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand.

'T. Snow